OSK Productions – How To Perform Anal Sex
The Little Details
Running Time: 74 min.
Production Date: 3 / 22 / 2007
Director: Josh Welland
Cast: Caren Caan, Roxetta, Dino Bravo, and Maxwell Schmart in sexual roles and Robert Balto in a non-sex role
The Short Story
Initial Expectations: The How to Perform series has been pretty good. I’m looking forward to this one.
Initial Reaction: It’s very entertaining, but very hard to take too seriously.
Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a good laugh
Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting an instructional release you can take seriously
The Technical Stuff
Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are pretty average. The audio is fairly clear and nicely balanced, and I didn’t notice any background noises. The video is presented in non-anamorphic widescreen. About half of the movie is somewhat animated, with black outlines of the performers on notebook paper while the other is full color live action. The animation portion is nicely done, but the live action is a little weaker with the camera sometimes having poor angles, being a bit static, and the lighting being a little low.
Music: There’s some fairly cheesy music throughout the setups portions and helps with the fun feeling in the movie.
Menus: The main menu is pretty basic, and just gives a little clip in the background with the choices in the foreground for a fairly poor first impression. The chapter menu is pretty simple, but nicely done, and lets you choose a scene based on a still from each and the subject for the chapter.
The Feature
How to Perform Anal Sex breaks out of the typical format of this series to lodge a pair of demonstrations in the middle of an animated story about a couple wanting to try anal sex. It covers the physical parts in the demonstrations while the animated portions tell a bit of a story to easy people’s nerves on the subject and to talk about some of the emotional and mental aspects of anal sex. Roxetta and Dino Bravo handle the first demonstration while Caren Caan and Maxwell Schmart handle the second.
| Scene 1 – Roxetta and Dino Bravo |
This segment is going to give different people different things. Dino does a pretty good job talking his way through the action, and points out some things that many other instructional releases seem to miss, such as the pace and how they’re professionals who can try more difficult things than you’ll want to try at first. He doesn’t come across as the most knowledgeable, but he does come across as natural and a good layperson. Roxetta, on the other hand, provides the comic relief for the scene and an open hole. After watching many of her scenes, Roxetta has more than proven her anal skills, but she’s a horrible choice here as she comes off not just as dumber than a plate full of donuts, but also as having about the same acting skills. She not only looked like she was being prompted or reading cue cards, but made me wonder if she had the cue cards written out in different color crayons with little pictures around the words. This is the only instructional release where I’ve actually been laughing out loud at the instructional part of the releases rather than a fun setup or joking around between the performers as they’re trying to lighten things up. Roxetta does look like she’s trying to lighten things up, but I couldn’t help but think of this scene as being done by one of those Saturday Night sketch comedies from back when they were actually funny. The only thing this scene was missing was Dino blurting out “Rox, you ignorant slut!”. It’s so bad that when the editing of the pop shot is all screwed up you can’t help but just keep laughing and go with it. Those who are curious about anal sex might pick up a couple tips here, but others should enjoy it just for a good laugh.
| Scene 2 – Caren Caan and Maxwell Schmart |
This is a nice scene. Caren keeps things light and fun, but comes off as actually having a brain in her head. She puts some very nice effort into the foreplay part for the guy as well as a little effort into it for her end of things. The sex was a bit limited here, which was really too bad, as Caren does put things forward nicely and I couldn’t help but wish she had handled more of the instructional part. This is easily the better scene in the movie, and is both entertaining and a bit informative.
How to Perform Anal Sex is a release that I can’t help but recommend and urge people to stay away from at the same time. If you’re nervous about anal sex and looking for some good guidance, then this is easily the worst release I’ve seen on the subject. At the same time, the reasons it’s so bad is also why I can’t help but recommend this release to anybody wanting a good laugh. I have to give OSK credit here, and I really like how they tried to keep things light, but this is one of those releases where there’s no way you can laugh with the movie due to how much you laugh at it. The animated portions are a really neat and different idea, and while they lighten things up, they also hurt some of it by making the mental and emotional side of things feel a bit too childish and unreal. It also hurts the release by having things discussed and shown as cartoons rather than using real items. As for the demonstrations, I once again have to give Caren Caan a lot of credit as she does a great job being enthusiastic about the subject while also appearing real and approachable. Roxetta, on the other hand, seemed like she should be given a pair of floppy shoes and a red ball for her nose (she already had the makeup most of the way there). Unfortunately, If the shoes didn’t go up her ass odds are the nose would. She’s so unbelievably horrible here that even porn people can make fun of her acting performance without coming off as hypocrites. She comes off as nothing more than a whore who loses IQ points when she sneezes, which really left me a bit bummed as she’s put out some great anal scenes in the past and I really hoped she’d be able to add to this release. She definitely did add to the release, but not in a way that helps anybody who’s actually looking for help regarding anal sex. Pick up How to Perform Anal Sex if you want a good laugh, as you can easily add two to three stars to the overall rating, but if you’re actually looking for help on this subject, stay far, far away.
The Extra Stuff
Trailers are included for Black Velvet: Santa Monica, Tortia, How to Perform Cock and Ball Torture, How to Perform Rope Bondage, and several other installments of Black Velvet. The first photo gallery, which focuses on the drawings in the movie, lasts a little over three minutes, while the second gallery, which includes full screen captures from the movie, lasts about with about ten seconds per full screen photo. There’s also a blooper reel.The blooper reel lasts about four and a half minutes. It nicely mixes plenty of flubbed lines with outtakes from all of the scenes. The bloopers come from the animated story right through the sex demonstrations with a nice balance all the way through. This is a very amusing featurette that really needs to be checked out after you finish the movie.
The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff
Themes: Straight, instructional, rimming (male > female), toys, anal, cream pies (anal), and interracial
Raincoat Factor: Medium
Condom Usage: None
The Bottom Line:
Currently, many of OSK Productions’ DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $18. Rent this one first. It’s entertaining, but I’m not sure how much it meant to be. The technical aspects are pretty average, and there’s even a touch of effort put into the extras. This is an enjoyable release, but not the most educational. Note to OSK Productions: It’s great that you want to do things lighter, but please find a full cast who can do it right in the future. On the more positive side of things, thank you for including the blooper reel here.
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